


DDD

by 50percentraisinbird, Telefonbox



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, not proofread we die like real women, obito isn't as wholesome as he seems, rated m for kakashis bullshit, we've been plotting this for months
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 22:37:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17989811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50percentraisinbird/pseuds/50percentraisinbird, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telefonbox/pseuds/Telefonbox
Summary: Kakashi and Obito both lead very different online lives. Also confessions are hard, amongst other things.





	DDD

Kakashi’s phone rang, ripping him out of his dream that definitely didn’t involve him and his longtime best friend Obito in any promising positions.  
“What," he grumbled into the phone while trying to collect himself a little. He certainly was angry at whoever the fuck dared to disrupt his quality fantasy with dream-Obito.  
“Were you still asleep?” Obito’s gentle voice pulled him out of his sleepy state, “I was just wondering if you’ve already seen my newest dance cover? And i dont know, what your thoughts are because to be honest i still think the outfit mightve been a bit too much? But it matched the song and-” “Obito shut up it was fine.” The video definitely had been fine. Maybe even more than that. Kakashi might have even fallen asleep after jerking off to it 3 consecutive times. Obito didnt have to know that though, as far as Kakashi was concerned his best friend was into girls. Although last time he checked was 7 years ago so maybe he reconsidered his options. They hadn’t been talking much about that topic though and even if Obito liked guys nowadays, he probably wasnt into Kakashi.  
“Dude t’was fine youre overthinking, I’m sure your followers love it,” Kakashi continued. Obito sighed, “Yeah, probably,,,,,thanks man,,,you wanna grab some lunch later I’m already on my way to your dorm.” Kakashi panicked. He was still naked and his sheets were anything but clean after last night. Also, were those plates from last week or was he imagining things. “Whatever, take your time i still have to take a shower,” he choked out as he jumped out of his bed, tearing his dirty sheets off and throwing the offensive evidence out of the window. Now that that was taken care off he could take a shower in peace.

“Ding dong my friendo,” Obito happily knocked on Kakashis door only twenty minutes after the unexpected call. Kakashi threw on a hoodie before he walked up to the door to let his best friend in. “What do you wanna eat,” the older teen asked as he ogled Kakashis dirty ass floor, “Do you ever clean in here? I mean your sheets are clean huh.” “Haha yeah, didn't have much time to properly clean up you ass,” Thank god he had enough extra sheets lying around, he thought to himself, “also I guess Ichiraku would be good, I’m broke this month.” Kakashi didn’t mention that his brokeness had everything to do with Obito self insert fanfic he had commissioned from Jiraiya, owner of his favourite sex shop, earlier this week. “Ichiraku sounds good, i’ve wanted to try their new tonkatsu bowl for a while now!” Obito dragged Kakashi out of his crusty apartment and towards the Ramen shop on the other side of campus. 

A couple days later Kakashi and Obito were studying for their upcoming exams as out of nowhere Obitos curiosity got the best of him and he asked Kakashi: “By the way who was that old fart at the Ramen shop the other day?”  
“Just an old family friend, literally old, he’s helping me with a screenwriting project.” Kakashi was good at a lot of things, including white lies. Obito seemed satisfied with the answer and tended back to writing down observations, Kakashi guessed. He still didn't quite know what the fuck Obito learned in his geology classes. “So…” he tried to sound casual “when are you planning to film your new dance cover?” Obito looked up from his rock analyses “I’m not sure...I’ve wanted to film one soon but i’m not sure what song to cover. This one guy suggested Hot Pink by EXID so maybe i’ll go with that?” Kakashi tried not to bust a nut right then and there in the university library. Due to his unfortunate crush on his friend he might or might not have created secret fan accounts on all possible social media to, as he claimed, support Obitos hobby. That suggestion came from one of his accounts and no way in hell he could ever let Obito know about that. “I don’t even know what song that is but if your fans asked you to do it then why not listen to them?” “You’re right! I’ll shoot it as soon as exams are over” Obito smiled widely at him and Kakashi felt his heart implode. “Since you’re a film major could you help me shoot it?” Kakashi panicked. If he were present during the dancing, he’d shoot a lot more than just Obitos project. “I uh” he stammered “I don’t have time.” Obito frowned “wdym you don’t have time, i didn’t even tell you the day yet Bakashi.” “I got a mf uhhhhhh essay to write after exams. Wouldn’t wanna let your fans wait longer than necessary.” “Ah damn, I’ll just let you know when i upload it then.” “Sounds great” Kakashi felt his nervous sweat retract back into his skin. Obito didnt need to tell him, he had notifications on for all his accounts. He would know. Immediately.

It was rare that Kakashi got an entire day for himself. He was planning on spending his day wisely, namely using his precious free time to borderline molest Obito on social media. He logged into his twitter account to see if Obito replied his various requests to film specific dance covers. Luckily, Obito didn't know it was him or otherwise he might as well jump after the sheets that were still lying outside his dorm building. No one had dared to touch the filthy and by now very much wet sheets and to be honest he doubted anyone really cared.  
Just as he opened his twitter he saw that Obito had indeed replied to his message.

Scrcrw69 [3:21am]: ya ur new video is the bomb those shorts are mwah  
Obi [9:45am]: Hehe thanks a lot <3 Not sure if they maybe were a bit too tight, I got them from a friend haha  
Scrcrw69 [1:38pm]: lmao tbh i think they look amaaazing, mind sending me a pic of u wearing them ? ;)  
Obi [2:07pm]: Oh I think I only took one, I gave the shorts back right after filming but here you go: [image attached]  
Scrcrw69 [2:07pm]: [image attached]

Suddenly a whatsapp message popped up on Kakashis phone. It was Obito. Somehow Kakashi shouldve seen this coming. Of course his best friend since childhood would recognize his dick.

Obito: Dude, that guy did it  
Kakashi: did what  
Obito: I think he just sent me a dickpic?  
Kk: think  
Obito: I DIDNT OPEN IT YET but from what I can see in the preview it very much looks like 1  
Kk:...  
Kk: is it at least a nice one  
Obito: I DIDNT LOOK AT IT YET GDI BAKASHI  
Kk: dude  
Obito: ……..its ok i guess  
Kk: ok?  
Obito: asdfghjk idk man it doesnt look bad?  
Kk: why not send one back  
Obito: KK I CANT DO THAT who knows maybe its some pervert trying to make some money off me. I already send him a pic of me wearing Rins shorts  
Kk: youre a moron you know that right

Congratulations Kakashi this is definitely how you get the boy, he thought to himself. At least Obito didnt recognize his dick. And he called it pretty? Of sorts? It was enough for his imagination to run wild. He opened up his twitter again to check if Obito bothered to say anything after his dickpic stunt. 

Obi [2:30pm]: >/////<  
Obi [2:30pm]: Uhm im flattered?  
Scrcrw69 [2:43pm]: ;) I’d love to see yours as well

If that didnt get him a block Kakashi would lose it.

Obi [2:50pm]: Hope this is okay as well ^w^  
Obi [2:50pm]: [image attached]

It was a pic of Obito. In a school girls uniform. Kakashi groaned. His best friends blind stupidity was gonna be the death of him one day.

Obi [2:51pm]: Sneak peak ;3c  
Scrcrw69 [3:15pm]: wow we really dont deserve you ;)

fap

After passing out rather early the previous day, Kakashi woke up, yet again, lying in his own mess. One day he would really have to do something about this tiny problem he had. He glanced at his phone and saw that he somehow managed to wake up early enough to do one of his occasional ‘livestreams’. It payed well so whenever he had the time and felt horny enough he decided to Just Do It. It’s not like any of them knew who he was anyway. He opened up the streaming site on his laptop, not even bothering to clean up at all and waited for the first viewers to come on.

Treenz0u: Did you have a good week? ^^

Kakashi grinned. That guy kept coming back everytime, he was practically the equivalent to what he was doing with Obito, but far less dirty. Sure, this was a porn streaming site, but Treenz0u always only cared about him personally, not even sending money for any sexual favours in return.  
“Yeah it was okay. A bit stressful,” Kakashi replied, slightly changing the pitch of his voice to sound more sensual and less like himself.  
Slowly more viewers started coming in and Kakashi began his show.  
Halfway through he saw that someone had written him in private.  
083370833: I’ll pay you 100 bucks if you moan shrek while cumming  
SukeaH: its a deal

The second he saw that the user had transferred the money he started going at it for real. With a final stroke he came all over his stomach and fulfilled the request.  
Another message popped up from the same user as before and Kakashi opened it while saying goodbye to his viewers.

083370833: nice show kakashi

Well fuck. Kakashi promptly turned off the stream and sunk down to the floor. So apparently someone who knew him in real life just watched that go down. He jumped into the shower and tried to not think about it. If that person really knew who he was they would reveal themselves sooner or later anyway. 

 

POV Obito

Obito was having good day. He had just gotten his exams back and as expected he was on top of his class again. Yeah sure he wasn't a prodigy or genius or anything like that but geology, nature sciences in general, had always been easy for him. Also, he finally was done editing his newest dance cover.  
After having met the old guy from Ichirakus again he had found out some quite interesting stuff about his best friend. Turns out this guy, Jiraiya was his name, wasnt actually a family friend but the owner of Kakashis favourite sex shop. He also happened to write porn erotica and took writing commissions, which apparently, Kakashi spent a ton of money on. Obito found that out after telling the old man his name who seemed to be very familiar with his persona. Those porn commissions Kakashi kept on paying Jiraiya for were all centered around Obito as it seemed. After the initial shock he plotted his revenge against his best friend. If Kakashi had just been straight forward about his attraction Obito probably wouldve just accepted it anyway, considering he had been harbouring a crush on the silver haired male for a couple years already. With all this newfound information his number one fan scrcrw69 suddenly also appeared way less creepy and more like a very cheap disguise. Now that he thought about it he shouldve made the connection way earlier. Goddamnit did Kakashi really think he was that stupid. Ok maybe he was, but not anymore. It was over for scrcrw69 the second he sent a dickpic. By the time Obito finished uploading his new video he was grinning widely. Fuck you Kakashi, he thought, its what he deserved.

 

POV Kakashi

As soon as the notification for a new Obi dance cover popped up, Kakashi practically flew to his Laptop to watch it in the highest possible quality his laptop could manage. He’d been waiting for this since the dickpic situation on twitter.  
Not only was Obito wearing the goddamn school girls uniform from the pic he sent, but it was also another EXID song, admittedly the only kpop group Kakashi could and would respect. After watching the 3 minute video in more than 30 minutes because, his problem, had to be taken care off quite a couple times, he finally arrived at the end of the video. Unlike Obitos other videos this one seemed to have some extra footage after the credits. Obito was grinning mischievously into the camera as he pretended to be winking his viewers goodbye.  
“Kakashi i hope you like this. If you want to come over and watch Shrek later just give me a call.” With those words the video ended and Kakashi paled. Seems like his little secret was out.

**Author's Note:**

> We are, first of all, incredibly sorry towards anyone who wanted to read a good FanFiction. This is pure crack treated just seriously enough to not be an ABSOLUTE trainwreck. It still though. Also secondly, kakashi is horny and obito is a dweeb. If you know who Treez0u is or what the fuck 083370833 is supposed to mean the kudos to you. Also stan EXID.


End file.
